envy: a new perspective

dreams, envy, inspiration, jealousy, life, passion, perspective, podcasts, Positive Thinking

envy

I have recently developed a new appreciation for the headlined emotion. I grew up putting a negative connotation on this word, I thought of it as poison, just like the sign states above. However,Β with an open mind, and a suggestion from not one, but two different podcasters, I am now able to see this yucky feeling in a brand new light. So far I’ve heard two episodes on different shows talk about jealousy being a good thing.

One of the podcast channels is Happier with Gretchen Rubin, this woman is AMAZING! I discovered Gretchen through the Vibrant, Happy Women podcast. Gretchen’s was the first story I stumbled upon about finding the courage to leave her career and pursue her passion. I was moved by this story, so naturally I tracked her down and started listening to her own channel. The Labor Day episode #184 is jam packed with experience, questions, knowledge, tips, enlightenment, etc. One thing I found fascinating is when Gretchen’s sister, Elizabeth, brings up a question that you can apply to your work life “Whom do you envy?”. They call it a “know yourself better question”. WHAM. That is some powerful stuff right there.

When we’re jealous of somebody, we’re usually jealous because we want what they have. My earliest memories of jealousy all boil down to that exact statement. I wanted what somebody else had, and early on in life that equated to material objects. I thought shiny things would make me happy, so if you had a shiny thing that I wanted that my parents couldn’t afford, I resented you.

As I grew older my relationship with this certain emotion began to change. I started to cheer on the people that have what I want. I’ll be honest, sometimes my first reaction is still that little twinge of envy. I mean come on, years of treating an emotion one way doesn’t change overnight. The difference now is that once that little twinge pops up I immediately address it and tell it “that’s not who I am today”. Just like that my attitude changes. I believe in empowerment today, cheering someone on for their accomplishments instead of scouring at them from the corner. It’s an amazing feeling behaving this way.

After hearing this suggestion on the show, I started to really ask myself Whom do I envy? I took a look around at the entrepreneurs, the visionaries working hard, being their own boss. The people creating their dreams, pursuing their passions, living their BEST life. These are the people I envy today.Β  These are the people who have helped me realize what my next step in life is going to be. These are the people paving the way, showing me that yes it’s going to be difficult, but it’s sooo going to be worth it. Thank you to each and every one of you.

Unfortunately I am having a tough time remembering the second podcast, I need to start taking notes! I’m usually listening on my morning commute, so I don’t have the means to jot it down in the moment. I will work on finding a solution. I will also report back when I find that episode. Until then, thank you all for reading.

Before you go, I’m curious, Whom do you envy?

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being okay, with being okay.

gratitude, happiness, higher power, podcasts, Positive Thinking, quotes

girlfield

“The happiest of people don’t have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have.”

BOOM. This powerful phrase just knocked me on my ass. I was driving home and I saw it on the church marquee near my house. I don’t practice any set religion but I have a higher power, a God of my understanding and he/she/it likes to slap profound messages in my face. And I love it. Considering I just had a major discussion with my significant other on this topic two days ago, I don’t think this marquee message is purely coincidence.

I have really been struggling lately with my happiness. For someone who believes that happiness is a choice, you might think that I would or should be happy all of the time. Or that it might be easy for me to change my feelings around and instantly be happy. I know I think that. Maybe that’s my problem. I beat myself up when I am anything but happy. The truth of the matter is that I need to be okay, with being okay. That’s hard for me. I am such an all or nothing person, so even keel doesn’t make much sense to me. At the end of the day if I’m not happy, I’m sad. But I’m not even really sad. I know deep sadness, and this isn’t it. So what am I? I’m just okay. I’m going through the motions. For some reason that is not okay with me.

Some people say to practice gratitude when you feel the way I’m feeling. It’s not that I am ungrateful. I have gratitude every single day when I open my eyes. I should not be alive. But I am. I’m grateful to have a roof over my head, fur babies that I adore, my sobriety, an amazing relationship that I’ve waited 13 years for, a hot shower every morning, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, a job to provide me with income, a car to get me to that job, best friends from home, best friends from this new city, best friends in different parts of the country and the world, family members that are there for me no matter what, and the list goes on.

If I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t felt much fulfillment lately. I’m happiest when I’m creating and helping others. Every few years my creativity comes bursting out of me, and I let it out briefly, then I stuff it back inside, and resume my daily routine. I’ve recently started listening to podcasts created by these extremely talented and fierce women. They talk about pursuing their dreams, and going after what makes them happy but also making a living out of these dreams. It really is awe inspiring to listen to their stories. However, this yearning for what they have and not being there yet myself, I believe, is the contributing factor to my not being okay with being okay. Truth is, none of these stories start out with instant success. There is typically a struggle. Always some barrier to over come. Without the struggle how can we appreciate success? They all started somewhere. This is my starting point.

New mantra: I embrace the beginning, I’m okay with where I’m at. I also have a new goal towards leading a more positive life: being okay, with being okay. What’s one of your goals that you’re working on?